My Scratch Paper: "I am like a hair God"

Sunday, June 7, 2009

"I am like a hair God"

This totally made my day today :)) I was reading http://kickette.com/ and I found this!!! I'll never get tired of reading this. Kickette, you are awesome, the captions are just hilarious!

Fernando Torres: Oh, for the love of… Don’t give me the bitch face again, Martin. It’s not my fault I have highlights of gold.

Martin Škrtel: Highlights of gold? More like highlights of heavy-handed and non-natural. I will bitchface you. I will bitchface you without even respecting you enough to make eye contact.

Fernando Torres: At least I can grow my hair. I have styling options with my new doo.

Martin Škrtel: I disrespectfully disagree. Your new look is offensive to myself, my people and small animals with weak constitutions.

Fernando Torres: Kickette likes it. That’s gotta count for something. Plus, look at how authoritatively my new hair blows in the wind and rain. I am like a hair god, reigning my mastery down upon you, the hairless.

Martin Škrtel: It looks bouffy and over styled. Are you a man or a pageant girl? I will call you Nandrina. And your hair doesn’t so much blow casually in the breeze, it stands up awkwardly at attention in the wind. My hair is the hair of a man who has no fear of the breeze nor the wind. But enough talk. It’s distracting me from my bitchface. I’m outtie.

source: http://kickette.com/

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Sharpener

“We all think we’re going to be great and we feel a little bit robbed when our expectations aren’t met. But sometimes expectations sell us short. Sometimes the expected simply pales in comparison to the unexpected. You got to wonder why we cling to our expectations, because the expected is just what keeps us steady. Standing. Still, the expected’s just the beginning, the unexpected is what changes our lives.”

“Maybe we're not supposed to be happy. Maybe gratitude has nothing to do with joy. Maybe being grateful means recognizing what you have for what it is. Appreciating small victories. Admiring the struggle it takes simply to be human. Maybe we're thankful for the familiar things we know. And maybe we're thankful for the things we'll never know. At the end of the day, the fact that we have the courage to still be standing is reason enough to celebrate.”

“We have to make our own mistakes. We have to learn our own lessons. We have to sweep today’s possibility under tomorrow’s rug until we can’t anymore, until we finally understand for ourselves like Benjamin Franklin meant. That knowing is better than wondering, that waking is better than sleeping. And that even the biggest failure, even the worst most intractable mistake beats the hell out of never trying.”